Tackling Tasks You Dread Doing

We all have a task we really don’t enjoy doing. It’s a task that fills us with a wide range of not-so-fuzzy feelings: dread, annoyance, anxiousness, boredom, frustration and so on. Sometimes it’s very difficult to feel any kind of motivation to tackle these jobs on our to-do lists. Everyone has that I-really-wish-I-was-doing-something-else chore, and it varies from person to person. What I hate doing, you might actually enjoy doing and vise versa.

Maybe it’s not so much a chore as it is a project. You know you need to work on it but can’t quite bring yourself to set aside the time. My mother-in-law asked me to knit a scarf made from her kids’ t-shirts. Since undertaking the project I have somehow managed to get all of the yarn tangled twice. If you’ve ever had to untangle a mass of anything, you know how frustrating and tedious this is! That project has sat on the table for months because every time I think of it, I feel the frustration and dread of untangling all of that yarn.

So how can we overcome feelings like this and get the job done? Here are some ways that have helped me:

The 10-Minute Rule

Make an agreement with yourself to spend at least 10 minutes working on a chore/project. You could even drop it down to 5 minutes if it’s something you really, really don’t want to do. Or, if you feel like you want to, give it 20 minutes. However many minutes it is, make a pact with yourself to work all the way through that time. It gets you actually working on the task, and you don’t feel like it’s a huge commitment. When I use this rule I find myself thinking “Well, this isn’t so bad.” I actually end up working on the project for more than 10 minutes. I did this with the mass of tangled yarn. I ended up working on it for a half an hour and challenged myself to get at least one color untangled and wrapped into a ball. If you get to the end of the 10 minutes, and you think you could spend a little more time working, do it! If you’re ready to be done after the time is up, that’s o.k. too. At least you sat down and spent some time working on it instead of completely ignoring it.

Alternate Enjoyable Tasks With Less Enjoyable Ones

Look at your to-do list. Which tasks do you enjoy or tolerate more? Try fitting these in between the less enjoyable chores. If you despise cleaning but like to exercise, schedule an exercise session after a cleaning session. You’ll feel motivated to finish cleaning so you can move onto the more enjoyable activity of exercising. You could also schedule all of the less fun activities in the morning, so they’re done and out of the way. Now you have the rest of the day to work on your favorite things!

Break It Up

This kind of ties into the 10-Minute Rule. At one point, our apartment was horribly cluttered. You couldn’t walk anywhere without tripping on something. You couldn’t use counter space without having to push a mountain of stuff aside. It was maddening! I wanted to de-clutter our space right now, but the thought of doing it was incredibly overwhelming. I was imagining a whole day devoted to cleaning. Finally, I realized I was never going to get anything done if I continued to focus on cleaning the whole apartment in a day (or even a few days). The idea of it was so overwhelming that I was too anxious to even try it. It’s a small apartment, but trust me, there’s a lot of stuff in here. I decided to break up the workload, and it has definitely paid off. I focused on the areas that were driving me crazy the most. These were “high-traffic” areas that we needed to use every day. I would clean one surface a day. One day it was the counter, the next day it was the living room table, and so on. Slowly (but surely!) the apartment started to look a lot nicer. If you are overwhelmed by a job, try breaking it up into smaller, workable, pieces. Who says you need to get it all done in one go? You may be surprised at how much you accomplish when you take the pressure off of yourself.

Whistle While You Work

Make certain jobs more fun! Listen to some music, an audio book, or your favorite t.v. show (unless you’re too distracted by watching, of course!). Find a podcast or radio show about a subject you enjoy and listen to that. When I do this, it really helps to lighten that mental burden of “Oh, I have to do this again.” When you have something you enjoy listening to in the background, it turns into “I get to do this again!” It’s like a mental “Me-time.”

These are just a few ideas that have helped me to get over the mental and emotional obstacles of certain tasks. Try them out and let me know what you think! Have any ideas you can add to this list? Let me know in the comments!

Six Ways To Make Your Goals More Accessible

The definition of accessible: easy to approach, reach, enter, speak with, or use.

If you really want to make changes in your life, you need to make your goals more accessible. You need to keep them within arm’s reach and integrate them into your life. Here are some ways you can do that!

Six Ways to Make Your Goals More Accessible:

1. Visualize, visualize, visualize. And then visualize some more! Make your goals mentally  accessible.

Regularly visualize yourself as if you have already achieved what you want. Visualize in the present. For example, say you want to finally attack all of the clutter in your home. Visualize your home without all of the mess as if it’s already clutter-free. Do this every day. You can do it before you fall asleep. See yourself clearing the junk out. Imagine how you’ll feel after clearing a space and let that emotion flow through you as if the space has already been cleared. Visualization deserves its own post, so I’ll definitely be blogging about it in the future.

2. Find people, blogs, and sites that pertain to your goals.

Want to learn how to sew? Look for classes in your area. Find YouTube videos and sites for beginners. I was able to learn how to knit a scarf from the Internet alone. Don’t overlook the own people in your life, though! Does a family member or friend have a particular skill you’d like to learn? Ask them if they could teach you. Fill your life with knowledgeable, positive influences.

3. Be a sponge! Soak up all of the information you can.

Sometimes, the biggest obstacle to acting on a goal is feeling overwhelmed at your lack of knowledge of the subject. Remember, you have to start somewhere! Read and listen to as much information you can. Check out books from your library, download e-books, and buy books from a thrift store (learning something new doesn’t have to break the bank!). Listen to CDs in the car. Do all that you can to make sure the information is there for you at a moment’s notice.

4. Join a support group, whether it’s in your area or online.

Don’t underestimate the power of a support group. I’ve realized that I tend to try to be a loner in a lot of areas of my life. Though I’m still working on it, I have accepted the fact that I cannot possibly do everything myself. Everyone needs help one way or another, especially if it involves doing something you know nothing or very little about. Support groups not only circulate information, but also encouragement. Encouragement is highly valuable when you feel like turning back.

5. Find people who have succeeded, listen, and take notes.

These are people who have started from the beginning, exactly where you are now. They’ve made the journey from A to B. Listen to many different people’s experiences and find common threads. What motivated them? Where did they look for support? What setbacks did they have and how did they overcome them?

6. Keep reminders of your goals wherever you go.

This can be whatever you find inspires and motivates you. Did you come across an inspirational quote that spoke to you? Write it down and put it in a place where you can easily read it every day. If you work from your computer, tape a reminder of your goal to it. You’ll see it every time you use your computer. Stick reminders on your fridge. I have some magnets about eating whole foods on mine. I also printed out some nutrition information and stuck it on there. Every time I go to open the fridge, I see it and am reminded of my goal.

Here's a cute little metaphor for you! Making your goals more accessible is like growing and maintaining an orchard. First you have to grow the trees. This is the information you learn about your goal and the connections between you and others (whether they're people in your area or people online). Next, you want to make sure there's fruit on the trees, so when you walk through the orchard, you can easily reach up and grab what you need. The fruit signifies the tools you keep within arm's reach for yourself. This is everything from books to inspirational quotes (or actual fruit if you're trying to eat healthy!).

Can you think of more ways to make your goals accessible? Leave a comment, because I'd love to hear more ideas!

Surround Yourself With That Which You Aspire To Be

Is your life filled with positive, supportive people? Or do you have toxic people in your life who bring you down with their negativity? Do you know people who undervalue your choices and goals? Sometimes these people can even turn out to be our family and friends.

While you may not be able to completely escape a person’s negativity (especially if it’s a family member), you can incorporate more positive people into your life. Sometimes our internal efforts to stay positive can buckle, especially when there is a constant negative influence in our life. This is why it’s important to surround yourself with supportive influences to help strengthen your resolve against the discouraging ones. You may be asking, “Well, where do I find these people?”

With the Internet, it’s as easy as ever! So you want to eat healthier and lose weight? There are TONS of blogs out there that pertain to health and weight loss. Many people blog about their own personal experiences and explain how they reached their goals. Find these blogs and visit them on a regular basis. Soak up the information. Once you’ve gained that information, take the next step and act on it. When you know which foods are healthy and how to prepare them, you can start surrounding yourself with those foods. Start stocking up on fruits and vegetables instead of potato chips and pop. You will never reach your goal if all you have in your cupboards is junk food!

Look around your area for people who can help you in your journey. Do you want to learn a particular skill? Visit your city’s web page and see if there is a group you could contact about a skill you want to learn. Find out if your local community college offers classes on that particular skill. I’m sure people would be more than happy to share their knowledge with you.

If you can’t find people in your area to support you, join online support groups. There are forums full of people out there who are trying to achieve the exact same thing you are trying to acheive. They’re also full of people who have been successful at the very same thing you’re trying to do. Seek them out!

And don’t forget books! Visit your local library and stock up on books on whatever subject it is you want to learn. Can’t find the book you want at your library? Ask your librarian about interlibrary loan. If a different library has the book you want, you can ask to have it delivered to your library. You can also find used books really cheaply on the internet as well. I’ve used Amazon to find used books for a much lower price than if I were to buy them new. Amazon also has many e-books you can choose from. All of the e-books I’ve looked up for myself have always been cheaper than the physical book. Sometimes they’re even free!

I love bookmarking sites. I love knowing that if I want certain information, I can come back to it at any time. Once I found out the shortcut for bookmarking (CTRL-D by the way), I was good to go! What I did next was bookmark sites and blogs that are in line with my goals. For instance, I’d like to eat more whole, organic foods, and I’d like to know how exactly to do that on a budget. So I went to Google, typed “organic food on a budget” and bookmarked the first page of sites I found. Now that they’re all bookmarked, I can learn all I want about eating organic food on a budget. Then I can take steps to act on the information and use it to change my life.

If you want to reach your goals, you must surround yourself with that which you aspire to be.

I have so much more to say about this topic. I will be compiling a list that touches more deeply on the points in this post, so be on the lookout for more!

Finding Direction

Someone once described me as a hummingbird, a creature who flits about seemingly randomly without any sort of direction. I can see why they said that!

I have a hard time with choices. I just don’t want to make the wrong one! As you can imagine, I had a tough time in college. There were so many paths I could walk down, but I was afraid of even choosing one. What if I made the wrong decision? What if I committed all of my time to one thing only to find that I hated it? The thought of doing only one thing for the rest of my life terrified me. It sounded so stagnant and boring. I struggled with questions like, “What’s my calling? What am I passionate about enough to want to do it for the rest of my life?” I couldn’t come up with a concrete answer. I wanted to do so many things! I wanted to learn how to cook, dance, act, speak another language, learn to play other instruments (besides the saxopohone!), and so much more. Like a hummingbird, I’d flit back and forth between each idea. I’d even try them out a little, but I was so scattered about it. I’d become excited about one thing, try it for a little while, lose interest and move on to the next thing that caught my attention. Then I would become frustrated. “What’s wrong with me?” I’d ask myself. “Why does everyone around me seem to know what they want to do with their lives but I don’t?” Even though I was afraid of living a stagnant life, I was stagnant. I had no direction. I lived in a grey area. Hummingbirds had more direction than me!

The problem was I hadn’t asked myself an important question: What is important to me? Instead, I was investing my time in things that sounded interesting to me on the surface. I would immerse myself in a subject for days. I’d drown myself in it desperately wanting it to be my “calling.” Then I’d completely lose interest and walk away feeling even more frustrated with my life.

So how do you find direction? You sit down in a quiet place and you find out what’s important to you. I think a good way to do this is to ask yourself how you want to help others. Instead of asking yourself, “What do I want to do with the rest of my life?” turn the focus of that question outward. Ask yourself these questions to help get to the core of what you want from your life:

What do I want impact the lives of others in a positive way?

How do I want to help others?

If I could teach somebody anything I wanted, what would it be?

What would I enjoy helping others with even if I wasn't paid to do it?

These questions will point you in the direction of what is truly important to you at this moment in your life. Armed with that information you can then move on to transforming your life into the one that you want to live.

Remember, even hummingbirds know where they want to go!

Breathe Deep!

Can you imagine what your life will be like in twenty years? Too far away? How about ten? Still too out of reach? O.k., five then. That seems a little more manageable but still lofty. How about one year?

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"What do you want to major in?"
"Where do you see yourself in ten years?"

These are all questions people asked me throughout grade school, high school, and college. The first question was the easiest question to answer at the time. People ask you that when you're a little kid, so of course you'll be able to answer. At that time I wanted to be a veterinarian. However, as the years went on and as I grew older, the future became mysterious. I had changed my mind about being a veterinarian. What did I want to be when I grew up? Well, I don't know. It was a hard question for me to answer. Then, in high school, I discovered that I had a real knack for music. I was in the top bands and top choir. So I chose to major in music, so that was also an easy question to answer.

But the last of those three questions up there was the hardest one of them all. How can anyone know where they're gonna be in ten years? It seemed impossible. Life is too unpredictable, right? I could decide to be one thing but then, halfway along the way, change my mind and decide to be something else. I can't predict that, can I? I can't predict that I'll change my mind, or can I?

But as I graduated from college with a major in music and minor in psychology (thinking I wanted to be a music therapist but, alas, changing my mind again), I realized I had no real path I could start walking. I didn't get a music education degree. I didn't want one. The problem was I didn't know what I wanted. I was still searching, but my time was up. I graduated from college and went back to work at a low paying retail store, hardly a place to use a music degree (unless I wanted to impress customers with my saxophone playing).

And here I am, years later, still struggling with the "ten year" question. Whenever people asked me that question I could never picture anything. It was like a grey fog. I realize now that I am where I am today because I did not have a clear picture of where I wanted to be. Don't get me wrong! I have a wonderful family and friends. I have a great husband who is a fantastic father to our beautiful six month old daughter. But sometimes I feel like I'm still stuck in no-man's land.

With this blog, I am going to break that cycle. New Years of 2013 was part inspiration for starting this blog. When New Year's eve was over I had a huge realization. A year had gone by, and I hadn't accomplished any of my goals! That goal to eat healthy and lose weight? Nope! That goal to start my own business and start bringing in income? Nada! That goal to get our finances under control and put substantial dents into our debt? Ha! I let a whole year go by. I told myself, "I'll do it tomorrow" 365 times. That's a whole lot of procrastination!

That realization has made me really want to challenge myself. I've been asking myself, "Where do I see myself in a year?" This blog will chronicle my year-long journey to steer my life in the direction I want it to go. I decided on a year's breadth for the obvious reason of signifying a year's time. Also, breadth sounds a lot like breath. A year can fly by so fast it's almost as if you only took one breath. By the time you breathed out, a year's time went by. So, if I only breathe once, shouldn't I make that one breath count? I need to breathe deeply, fill my lungs, and finally breathe out feeling refreshed.

I'm going to break down my goals into manageable pieces. I will also be using visualization to change my life. I will be posting the results of this and the resources that help me along the way so that others may find inspiration and help to change their own lives. Will you join me on this year long journey? Let's see what we can accomplish in a year's breadth.